Running the Race That's Ahead of Her, Figuratively Speaking
When you’re a runner, they say to run with people faster than you because it will make you better. As I’ve aged, I’ve found I can insert the same adage in almost every aspect of my life.
Being competitive by nature, however, I’ll admit I used to slip in this trait whenever and wherever possible, trying to be “the best.” It’s been only within the last handful of years that I’ve been able to let go of that a bit and celebrate others for *their* wins, even if it’s something I want to be winning at, too. And I’m still a work in progress—competitiveness can sneak in and be a joy-killer in the same way comparison can.
But back to the point here. Every once in a while, you stumble into a friendship that’s magical on many levels. Many of my friends are also mentors—women I’ve looked up to since before we were friends. I’ve always felt that way about my relationship with Andrea McFarling. I knew I wanted to run with her (figuratively here, as Andrea will be the first to tell you she is not a runner!) because I knew she would make me a better person on so many levels.
In my early twenties, I moved to Austin without knowing a soul. Serendipitously, I got introduced to an incredible group of women—ladies with serious accomplishments under their belts with savvy business skills and powerful jobs at young ages. These women were a few years older than me, and I immediately admired each of them for different reasons and hoped from the bottom of my heart that we would somehow end up being friends.
Andrea literally stood out because she is about as tall as me (and I’m 6’1’’), with an outgoing personality and a genuine warmth about her. She’s a native Austinite, which is rare in a true melting-pot city, and her southern hospitality was immediately recognizable. I quickly learned Andrea owned her own place (a concept that hadn’t even crossed my mind in my early twenties) and she held a marketing role at a software company.
Thankfully, our paths continued to cross, and Andrea and I became real-life friends. I couldn’t wait to spend time with Andrea because our careers were just so different, and I always tried to absorb her intelligence and corporate experience. I was working an entry-level journalism job, and I wasn’t sure exactly what was next for me, while Andrea was working her way up quickly in the marketing world.
In addition to climbing the corporate ladder, Andrea worked with several nonprofit organizations like the Young Women’s Alliance, Leadership Austin, and was the president of the local American Red Cross Young Professionals organization, which helped fundraise for the Red Cross and connect a younger demographic to the organization’s mission. She had it all together (and still does!).
Andrea took risks and changed companies when she saw opportunities, but she also learned challenges arise even when you’re feeling your best, like the time (well into her career by this point) the CEO of her company asked her how the intern program was going.
“While I should have been flattered that I could pass for a young intern, I knew I wasn't going to get the same level of visibility and opportunity that I did at my previous company,” she said.
So, Andrea left that company and took a position in which she built a marketing function for a fast-growing digital advertising agency. Just typing the words “built a marketing function” has me shaking my head in a way that says, “That Andrea, of COURSE she BUILT a marketing function,” as if it was as simple as turning on the lights at the beginning of the day.
And only because I asked, Andrea told me what else she accomplished while at that job:
“I built a team, a lead gen infrastructure, I managed sales, I sat on the leadership team, I made investment decisions, and I helped guide us through an acquisition. It was the best learning experience I've had,” she said. “During my time, I met my husband, got married, bought a house, sold my condo, adopted a dog, and had a child [daughter Monroe]. I will always be grateful for my time there, but I was ready for my next challenge.”
That challenge is Andrea’s current role as VP of marketing for a shipping software company called ShipStation. She oversees a team of twenty and said she’s “made it to a point in my career that used to scare me. A point where I never thought I’d be, but it was destined to be a part of my story.”
You might not gather this from the way I’ve described Andrea and her career, but she’s a shy person by nature and also an incredibly creative person. One of the most inspiring things Andrea told me relates to how she sees the same traits in her child.
“When I look at my daughter, I see the same creative spark and determination I had when I was a child,” she said. “I also empathize with her natural shyness and strong desire to blend into her surroundings. My whole life has been about challenging myself and building the confidence to ‘stand out.’ I hope I'm able to give her the tools to do the same.”
This remarkable wisdom comes from a woman who is outrageously humble, who would never tell you about her accomplishments unless you ask, and who is one of the most considerate and thoughtful friends you could ask for (and that’s coming from someone who is more than 2,000 miles away!).
What’s next for somoene like Andrea who loves advancement and challenges and making a difference? Believe it or not, it’s about slowing down and running at a different pace.
“In my twenties and early thirties, my career was about perfection,” she said. “I wanted to learn about—and be the best at—everything. But when I had Monroe, that all went out the window. I've slowed down. I turned down a big promotion because it would put me on a plane every other week. I've traded business books for fiction. I leave work at 4 p.m., and I don't apologize for it. Before, I was okay with imbalance in the sense that the pendulum always swung in favor of work. Now, the pendulum swings between work, marriage, motherhood, and self in an entirely erratic motion. And that's okay too.”
Hearing these words from Andrea not only resonated with me but made me even prouder to call her my friend. Her perspective and insight are admirable beyond explanation. And even though I know I’ll never have the type of career Andrea has, I’ll always be a cheerleader on the sidelines of her life, the first to raise a pompom when she needs it or even when she doesn’t. Because I’m grateful for friends like her who push me to be the best I can be and am hopeful that everyone can have an “Andrea”in their life, too.
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MORE FROM ANDREA:
Q: Where do you get your energy/what motivates you?
A: “My family motivates me. Even when I get my ‘me time,’ I find myself cutting it short and rushing back to see them.”
Q: Who (other women) inspires you? Or are there any specific social media feeds that inspire you?
A: “My mother. She came to Austin from a farm town with nothing and built a successful career and family through hard work. She's my confidant, therapist, advisor, and best friend.
All the direct female bosses that I've had along my career journey because I've learned so much from them.
Every mother—working, stay-at-home, or in-between. It's the hardest, the most important, and the most selfless job you can have.
For my social feeds, I primarily just follow people I know, and I just want to see photos of babies and animals.”
Q: Pie-in-the-sky dream or ambition?
A: “My dream would be to take a year off (or more!) from work and travel around the U.S. with my family, viewing all the major landmarks. I hate that it's in my ‘things to do when I retire’ bucket. We Americans need to relax a little!”
Q: Go-to recipe?
“To be honest, I like quick, easy meals. Early in my marriage, I spent a lot of time research and experimenting with new recipes. ‘The glory days’ for [husband] Blake. One cookbook that I love it called The Feed Zone. It's full of healthy, energy-boosting recipes for athletes. Although I wouldn't consider myself much of an athlete these days, the book is full of healthy recipes that take very little prep time.
During the work week, I just want to get something fairly healthy on the table in under 30 minutes. One of my favorite things to do is to throw meat into the slow cooker while I'm leaving for work. By the time I get home, I have pulled chicken or stewed beef that I can turn into tacos or put on top of a ‘healthy bowl.’
One of my favorite recipes is NOT healthy (aren't they the best ones)? In the south, we love a good casserole and in Texas, we love KING RANCH CHICKEN CASSEROLE. As a girl who grew up on Hamburger Helper, it always felt like a special occasion when my mom would cook this.”
Click HERE for Andrea’s King Ranch Casserole recipe.